Dealing With Darkness- Depression, Anxiety, Addiction, Fear, etc.

Dealing With Darkness

The rising sun dispels all darkness. Watercolor by Nikki

One day after working with a client who was suffering from severe anxiety, I was pondering depression and anxiety and how it is such a plague of our day.  The very next morning during my scripture study, I came across a story in Helaman chapter 5 of the Book of Mormon; one which I had read a hundred times but until then, had never seen anything but a story. This time reading, the Lord opened a new level of understanding to me.

Nephi the son of Helaman and his brother Lehi left their professions to go teach the gospel and actually had incredible success is some areas, even among the Lamanites. At one point, when among a more hardened group, they were imprisoned for several days without food.  When these Lamanites and defectors came to slay them, Nephi and Lehi were “encircled about as if by fire, even so much that the Lamanites could not hurt them”. The Lamanites were overshadowed by a cloud of darkness and immobilizing fear.

At this point, three times a voice of “perfect mildness” came and pierced them “even to the very soul” calling them to repentance and speaking “marvelous things that cannot be uttered”.  Aminadab who had been a dissenter from the Nephites “…turned him about” and saw through the darkness, Nephi and Lehi “shining exceedingly” and lifting their eyes to heaven as if they were talking to a heavenly being.  He cried to the multitude saying “turn and look”! 

It then says… “there was power given them that they might turn and look” (they were apparently so struck with fear that they had been previously unable to move).  They asked Aminadab what all these things meant & how to remove the darkness from overshadowing them.  He responded by saying that they must “repent and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ….and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed…”   they had faith in his word and did do these things “even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed.”  This tells me they didn’t just give it a half-hearted try, but that they persisted even UNTIL the darkness removed.

The story goes on to tell that they also became encircled about by fire and were filled with “that joy which is unspeakable and full of glory…and the Holy Spirit of God did come down from heaven, and did enter into their hearts, and they were filled as if with fire…” and the heavens were opened and angels came and ministered to them and they heard the voice of God saying “Peace, peace be unto you because of your faith in my Well Beloved…”  

This was a miraculous occurrence!!  These people went from having murderous intention to having their Baptism of Fire in a matter of minutes!  I find it interesting that the word “turn” was used 3 times here, especially when we consider what President Nelson taught that the Hebrew meaning of the word repent means “to turn”- to change direction, (to turn back to God).  But what if the darkness we are in is not due to sin?  Maybe it is due to depression, anxiety, sorrow, fear or a host of other “shadows”…  I love that the Greek word for repentance is metanoeo. The prefix meta- means “change.” The suffix -noeo is related to Greek words that mean “mind,” “knowledge,” “spirit,” and “breath.”  What if the darkness we are experiencing could be dispersed by “changing” our “mind, knowledge, spirit or even just our breath? 

As I read these words, I understood that this is one of God’s “HOW to” remedies for our lives!  I understood, for maybe even the first time, that the scriptures aren’t only for a feel-good, testimony-strengthening practice.  They are literally filled with answers to the many and varied challenges in our lives and to aid in removing literally any kind of darkness, from fear and anxiety to even things like toxic relationships, that may be overshadowing us. 

The first step is to “turn to God” by tuning our spirit to hear his voice (v. 29 & 30),-and deciding to follow His guidance to the part of the following step that is right for us individually: step 2:  “change your mind, knowledge, spirit or even breath”. then, third: “cry” (vs. 41) unto Heaven even until ‘ye shall have faith in Christ’-(this implies more than just a casual prayer… note the words even until- meaning this will most likely take some concerted effort and deep sincerity our part)… And when we begin to have true faith in Jesus, (this is believing Him versus belief in Him which is the most important part of the whole “recipe”) THEN is when the darkness will begin to disperse.

So, what could it mean to “change” our “mind”, “knowledge”, “spirit” or “breath”? – The first two here, well, all of them actually, could be “changed” by ridding ourselves of unbelief.  Unbelief is such a plague of our day and one that affects many including myself.  What incredible Power over darkness could we have if we really understood the true nature of our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ and the great gifts they have given us, namely the Atonement and the Power of the Temple Endowment and scriptural examples, like the following, to give us hope as we walk through the “wildernesses” of our lives. 

2 Nephi 4:26 O then… if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

To change our “mind” could mean a multitude of things: maybe to be more aware and grateful for not only our blessings, but for the wisdom that comes from ALL our mortal experiences, not just the good ones; it could mean to be more “mindful” and focused on the present moment instead of living in the past or in the future; it could mean to “surrender” to His will and trust that what we are going through is for our ultimate good and thus learning to become equanimous (to observe without reacting) toward our trial, or maybe we are being asked to be more intentional about viewing the world in a more positive light, or even praying to see others and ourselves through God’s eyes, etc., etc…  (I’m not saying in the least that this is easy or that I have got this all figured out in my own life, but I am grateful to know that, as I trust my Savior, He will help me and guide me to the steps that I need to take personally).

To change our “knowledge” could mean to increase our knowledge or understanding of what is ailing us or to seek knowledge from the Lord of who or what can help us along.  He has placed knowledge in the minds of people, herbs and minerals in the land and restored Priesthood power on the earth all with the loving intent to help us.  Our part is to ask in faith to be guided to what can help us personally.  The bible dictionary under “prayer” states, “The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”

To change our “spirit” might include, like in the above scripture, pondering on the condescension of the Lord and how He “hath visited men in so much mercy”, and seeking Him in this way, that we can literally find “rest” in Him as we walk this thorny path called life.  It might require a concerted effort to shed any veil of unbelief we might have that keeps us from His experiencing His “rest”.

And what could it mean to change our “breath”?  Have you noticed, lately, how much more our Church leaders are mentioning meditation, pondering, “being still”, connecting with the Divine and even  our breath?  I think the wisdom of Eastern cultures, who know how to detach from the pressures of life, connect mind and body and who understand the power of our breath, is finally making its way to the west.

Gratefully acknowledging our every breath- that we are sustained by God Himself every moment of everyday, has great health benefits as well, both physically and spiritually.  I have personally enjoyed learning about the art of meditation and am slowly (Im kind of a slow learner haha) seeing the fruits as I put into practice breath, gratitude and stillness.  The key here, though, is to keep God in the equation!

Under the direction of the Father, Christ is the creator of all things: He is in the light of the sun the moon and the stars, He is in the elements of the earth and in the sea, he is in the wind and the air we breathe and He is the Power behind our faith and our Covenants and thus is the true HEALER of all things.

Does this mean that healing or coming out of darkness will always be as quick as in this scriptural example? No, sometimes our “Wilderness’s” (our times of trial), linger as there is more for us to learn.  BUT as we seek the Lord earnestly, He has promised us “Peace that passeth all understanding” and strength, through His Enabling Power, to endure the refining fire; whatever it is. Either way, the Lord can heal, strengthen, succor and protect usw by, as they say, either “calming the storm, or calming us, amidst the storm” until it is, indeed, over.

President Nelson reminded us in his talk entitled “Hear Him” of other instances of fear and darkness:

“The Nephites were afraid because they had been through destruction and darkness for several days.  Joseph Smith was in the grips of a force of darkness just before the heavens opened.  Our Father knows that when we are surrounded by uncertainty and fear, what will help us the very most is to hear His Son.”

I testify of this truth and encourage us all to seek peace and understanding by allowing the Lord to lead us along, personally teaching us of His love and exactly what you need to come out from under any darkness and into His marvelous light.

“Peace, peace be unto you because of your faith in my well beloved …” Helaman 5:47

A few more of my favorite scriptures and talks on this subject:

Helaman 5:41

Hebrews 4:16

Alma 19:6      

The hope of God’s light- Elder Uchtdorf

Out of darkness into His marvelous Light Robert D. Hales.

Lead, kindly light October 2000 conf. Virginia Jensen

Waiting on the Lord Oct. 2020 Gen. Conference Elder Holland